In case you don't know, now you know. Or, my thoughts on the launch team.

So, you may have seen around the interwebs that I had the privilege of being part of the launch team for Jen Hatmaker's new book "For The Love". (if you haven't read it yet, stop reading this and go get your hands on it. It's real good.) I filled out the application thinking it'd be pretty sweet to be able to read the book early because I really like the way she writes. And then I'd get to tell people about it. Period. OHMYGOODNESS. That is not even close to what happened. There was a facebook page created for the launch team of 496 women and 4 men. 500 people excited about a book and being chosen = a lot of notifications. Whooo boy. It was seriously overwhelming and slightly intimidating.

Many have shared how the group took on a life of it's own and grew in to a community that no one expected. And this is true. I just have to add my two cents. In the midst of being overwhelmed and intimidated, I confess I thought the group was a little much. I didn't buy it. I mean, I was happy to get my book and all. But there was no stalking of the UPS driver or shrieking when it arrived. It had me wondering if maybe I wasn't exactly qualified to be a part of the team. Not to mention this whole business of online community. Making friends in real life is hard enough. I just have never really understood having internet friends. (Don't you just love the irony here? I have, oh, approximately 500 now. God is funny like that.) I bought in to the lie that somehow it's harder to know if people are being authentic online. So when people started diving in and sharing prayer requests and hard life stuff, I was skeptical. And as friendships formed and people started celebrating with each other and such, I doubted. Maybe it's because I am blessed with community that knows me that I was hesitant to dive in, to really believe this was actually happening in our little online group. I don't know. But it took me a long time to be truly convinced that these people were really being real.

When someone threw out the half-joking, half-not idea that Jen should host a launch party at her house, I laughed. When Jen actually invited everyone to her house, I think I laughed harder. In my mind, I automatically wasn't going. Um, spend how much money to go hang out with how many strangers? I am not that girl. (Again, God is funny.) I didn't even share the idea with my husband. At first anyways. But God was doing something. (I know, SHOCKER!) The longer I was part of the group, the more I became convinced that I was seeing the "realness" of these people, my people. The unbridled and ridiculous excitement, the crazy ideas and creativity to make them happen, the celebrating and grieving together, and man, the GENEROSITY. Seriously. I could probably write a whole other post that dives in to this and what an amazing picture of the heart of Christ it is.  I need a job just to pay for all the swag and trips and fun this group comes up with. That is definitely not "on my beam" (seriously, read the book), so I have opted out of all the extra goodies. EXCEPT I HAVEN'T. Because these ladies (and men) are ridiculously generous. I have been blessed with a launch team shirt, a fun mug swap care package and part of my trip to Austin gifted to me. Yeah, you read that right.

I somehow had missed the post (I'm not sure how! It's not like there a 5 bajillion posts a day or anything. *insert sarcasm here*) where a dear fellow launch member shared her heart of not wanting people to miss out because of finances and how if everyone pooled their resources, we could try to get as many of us to Austin as possible. Ah, how sweet! But I had missed the deadline to be on the scholarship list. I thought that answered the idea of me going, but something made me comment anyways and I was put on the waitlist. You guys. There were 27 (27!!!!!) people that were able to come to the party because the generosity in this group covered part or all of their trip.

So, to recap, the group pretty much sucked me in, converted me and was helping to pay for me to come join everyone in Austin. Does that sound creepy? Don't be scared, I promise I'm not now part of a cult. I also promise I'll write a second post all about my trip soon! :) (I think this is what you call a teaser? Now you have to come back to read all about my trip. hee hee)

Behold the power of pho

Okay, so maybe my title is a little misleading. Pho is not really that powerful, but God can use something as simple as pho to expose our heart. And that is exactly what he did with me this evening.
You guys. Tasty food is like, one of my love languages or something. And getting takeout is a special treat for me. So, I was SUPER excited when I got to pick up some pho on my way home from spending the day in Seattle with my husband. Just us. (AND we had Chipotle for lunch. Yes, I know, the day was just full of goodness! Remember that, it's important a bit later.)
So, I have my pho, doing my little happy dance and we head to Costco to get gas. I'm sitting in the car and I see a man on the corner, holding his cardboard sign. I can't read his sign, but I know he's in need. He wouldn't be standing out there if he wasn't, right? I am watching him and I just know I'm supposed to ask him if he's hungry. And offer him my pho. My first instinct is to totally ignore that nudge. But (thankfully), the Lord is gracious and patient with me, and keeps nudging me. And reminding me of what I have been given. His best. He has never held back in how he loves me. This "nudge" is not so I feel guilty, but to remind me of the kind of love I'm called to. He does not give scraps or crumbs or leftovers to those in need, but pours lavish grace and love upon us. Holy cow. I was so floored at my selfishness. After a day so full of obvious blessing, when I have the opportunity to bless someone else, my first reaction is to grasp what I've been given so tightly in hopes of not losing it? Goodness. I'd already missed the point. I'm so glad God gives me more than one chance to get it.
By the time Alex got back in the car, I knew I wanted to give my precious pho away. Well, I knew I wanted to obey. It was still really hard. I knew it was right and good, but I was still very disappointed to miss out on having that pho. I think that might have been the point for me. I need to give more lavishly. My time, my love, my attention, my food. That man is worth my precious pho and so much more. I'm not sure when the last time this was communicated to him, but I know it was what God wanted me to remember about him. It's not always going to be easy or comfortable, but that's okay. God is bigger than my selfishness and he cares enough to keep working on me in spite of it.

That's a lot of babies!

The other day we were running errands and Gavin busted out the most random question, I just had to share.
Gavin (dead serious)- "Mom, wouldn't you just love to have 162 babies???"
Me- (trying not laugh)- "Whoa, buddy. That's a lot of babies. Why would I want that many?"
Gavin- "Because you just love babies!"
Me- "Well, that is true. But that's a lot of work. I don't think I could take care of that many babies."
Gavin- "Well, what if all the people helped and everyone just took turns?"

This may just be the most random question he has ever asked. I have no clue what made babies pop into his head, besides his baby sister being with us. But it got me thinking....maybe he already gets it. Taking care of babies (or kids in general!) is a big job. What if we all helped each other out a bit more? Judged a bit less? It takes a village and all that after all! Let's assume the best out of each other, lift each other up and learn each others stories. That's what love looks like and it makes this journey so much more enjoyable.

For the love

So, the other day, on a whim, I filled out an application to be on the launch team for Jen Hatmaker's new book, For The Love, that is coming out in August. And I actually got selected! Super cool! I was just excited to be able to read the book early, but there is also a facebook group for the launch team full of 500 uber excited Jen Hatmaker fans. Which equals a butt ton of posts! It can be a bit overwhelming, but it's also pretty cool how people are being transparent about their need for prayer and struggles and such. One of the most common things that seem to be resonating with everyone is the need for "couple friends" or finding "their tribe" and whooooo boy, I can totally relate to that. BUT, more importantly, it is such a great reminder to me of God's faithfulness in my own story. After Brady was first born, my two closest friends at the time ending up moving away and I felt lost and alone. I was so devastated and had many conversations with my husband about it. I lamented finding new friends, because getting to know people is not something that comes easily for me. I found out we were both in the same place, longing to have a friend that truly knew who we were and loved us. We longed for deep connection. That was the cry of our hearts for a long time. It was incredibly discouraging. Even though it didn't feel like it, God was moving. I couldn't see what he was doing at the time, but he was moving. And reading these facebook posts reminded me of that. They reminded me that when you are in the middle of something, it's hard to "see the forest for the trees". And so I wanted to write a bit from the other side. Hopefully, it can encourage anyone reading it. Because God has more than fulfilled this deepest longing of both mine and my husband's hearts. Sometimes, I feel like it's a little ridiculous. We have amazing friends and amazing community that know us at a heart level and that have loved us at some of our ugliest, most challenging moments. That partner with us to love our community and serve our neighbors and work to love Jesus and bring him glory. That we share life with and laugh uncontrollably with. And I'm not trying to rub salt in any wounds. I just want to let people know, that God knows the deepest longing of your heart. He sees your struggle. And he is not turning a blind eye. You might not "feel" like it, but thankfully, our feelings don't affect the character of God. I would encourage you to reflect on your life and the ways you have seen God show up in your story. Hindsight is 20/20 and remembering the ways God has worked in your past is a great way to be encouraged that he has not deserted you in your present struggles. Remind yourself (and others!) of these evidences of God's grace. It's a powerful testimony of who God is and how he works in our lives. "Here I raise my ebenezer, here by thy great help I've come...." I would encourage us all to make for ourselves modern day ebenezers- physical reminders of how God has shown up. So that when we see them, we can be encouraged. And if you aren't sure, I would encourage you to look over the story of your life and look for God in your story. Because he is there, he's the true hero of the story, yours and mine.

Gavinisms

I love this kid. I love the way he gives unsolicited, tender hugs and kisses, I love how he loves to be tickled and I LOVE the words that come out of his mouth. I just love the way he sees the world. I figured I better document them. I'm sure I'll miss some, but I better start somewhere.

If his smooch is not perfectly timed with yours he'll say he "missed the kiss" and insist on doing it again. Until the timing is perfect.
He loves "rootbeard".
His favorite gun shoots "nissiles" and bullets.
He thinks he's a pretty good "winja".
As soon as he turned four, he wanted to take on tasks he was previously unable to do. He stated he could do them "with my four-year-old strength!".
He always refers to people as "humans". As in, we crossed the street in front of a truck and he informed me that "that human waved at me!".
He is never cold, but "coldee". The "ee" is often stretched out to communicate the extent of the coldness.
And the phrase he is most well-known for (and that we've heard approximately 9,310,052 times)- "I so hungry".

Today, so far.

Gavin is on fire with the funny today. I was feeling all sentimental, talking to him earlier about how 13 years ago, I got married and...he interrupts me to ask "Who did you get married to?". HA! Just a little while ago, Alex was home for lunch and had the following conversation:
Alex- "Did you know in a few weeks, you'll be turning 4?!??"
Gavin- "How many days is that?"
Alex- "23"
Gavin- super serious "Is that close to infinity?"
Oh, my does this little man crack me up!

Back in the saddle?

I (kind of) recently helped Brady put together a timeline of his life for school. The time spent looking over the calendar of his first year where I filled out questions about his first word, books he liked etc. made me realize that I don't even know what Gavin's first word was. *GASP* I'm not going to remember the things I don't document. So, I'm going to try. Because I never want to forget how he calls root beer "root beard". Or that Kellen lost his first tooth right before he turned 6. Or that Zoe is now officially rolling over! I want to treasure these little things. I want to remember. And not worry so much about how long a post is. Or if it's funny or I said things in just the right way. Or even if anyone ever reads my post or leaves a comment. Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives. Or something like that. ha